node server again — parts of this page will
not work until you do.
Pick a name and a kit.
Your name is saved to this browser with a secret token, so nobody else can play the ladder as you.
Share the link. The match starts when you say so.
No opponent needed, and no connection either — the whole match runs in this browser.
For the best experience, add it to your home screen — full screen, no browser bars, and local matches work with no connection at all. How to install →
Local matches never touch your rating.
No friends yet. Add someone by their name.
Turn the phone sideways — the pitch is wide, and upright you see less of it than your opponent does.
Click any key to rebind it — handy on a keyboard without arrows.
Playing online or against the computer, either set drives your slime. They split between the two players only on one keyboard.
| Player | Kit | Elo | Votes | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| No goals posted this week yet. | |||||
| # | Player | Rating | W | L |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| No ranked games played yet. Be the first. | ||||
Everyone starts at 1200. The first 5 ranked games move your rating faster while it finds your level.
A knockout for you and your friends. Everyone needs a claimed name, so the bracket survives somebody closing their tab.
Leave it empty to play for nothing. If you do set one, the site only keeps a note of who owes what — it never handles the money.
Somebody sent you a five-character code — put it in here and you are in the draw.
That is every goal this week.
Come back when someone posts a new one, or go round again.
No goals to vote on this week yet. Win a match, watch it back, and post one you are proud of.
No completed weeks yet. This week’s winners are locked in when the week ends.
Watch a match back, then post any goal you scored as a ten-second clip.
Nothing here yet. This lists matches you played against another person, so it stays empty while you are practising against the bot — those are not recorded. Matches that finished 0–0 are not kept either.
Ranked matches in progress. Drop in and watch — you see the same thing the two players do, a fraction of a second behind.
No ranked matches running right now. Check back, or start one yourself.
Loading the season…
Nobody has finished a ranked match this month yet.
First one to play is top of the table.
You are a semicircle. You have no feet and no swing — the ball simply bounces off you, and it leaves along the line from your centre through the point it touched.
So where you stand under the ball decides everything. Meet it on the side of your dome to send it flat and fast; meet it on top to loft it. That is the whole game.
A / D or ← / → to run W or ↑ to jump S or K to hold the ball
Holding sticks the ball to you for as long as you keep the key down. Stand still and it stays put; run and it rolls over you and off your back. It is the only way to take the ball anywhere, since you cannot kick it — and an opponent can knock it off you.
Every key can be rebound from the Controls card in the lobby, which is worth knowing if your keyboard has no arrows.
On a phone or tablet you get a thumbstick, a jump button and a CATCH button instead, down in the corners and clear of the pitch.
The pitch is far wider than it is tall, so upright it has to shrink to a letterbox. Held sideways it fills the screen and you can actually see the ball coming.
Better still, add it to your home screen — no browser bars at all, and local matches work with no connection. How to install →
A name gets you the ladder, replays of your matches, and the ability to post goals. It is saved to this browser, not to an account — there is no password and no email.
Not now? Play as a guest — everything except the ladder works, and you can make one later from the Your Slime card.
You are offline
Names are checked against everyone else’s, so claiming one needs a connection. Nothing is lost — the game is already downloaded, and you can make your slime the moment you are back.
Meanwhile, everything that does not need other people still works: the computer, and two players on one keyboard.
Find opponents, arrange custom matches, argue about whether that was a crossbar or a post.
Join the DiscordTell us what you would like to see — a stage, a kit, a rule you would change.
feedback@slimesoccer.co.ukSomething broken, a replay that went wrong, or a name you cannot claim.
help@slimesoccer.co.ukAdd it to your home screen for a full-screen game with no browser bars, and local play that works offline.
How to install →What is stored, why, and how to get rid of it. Data requests go to privacy@slimesoccer.co.uk.
Privacy →